As the bunco ladies can attest, I am loud, bold, rude, funny, cocky, stubborn and much more. All of crazy Melody is put on full display when I’m playing games. There is something about the relaxed social atmosphere of gaming that brings out a truer version of me.
According to David Benner, “We are called to live the truth of our uniqueness.” I don’t always do that. Actually, I rarely do that. The person you see on Sunday mornings is more reserved, calm and fully armed with my personal facades. Truth is, I live in fear and shame of who I really am. Deep down in the dark depths of my being is a locked up and scared little girl with dirt and muck all around her. Nobody wants to see that, let alone me. We are taught from a young age how to hide. Punishment and reward for our behavior teaches us what society expects from us and we conform. In doing so, we hide who we are instead of dealing with our truth.
Last week, Rick talked about kids and how important it is to let them be kids…let them be free. What a wonderful idea, but then we are left with this question: are we free? After so many years of societal molding, can we ever be free? Can we ever face the truth enough for a little light to shine in the dungeons of our own making?
It’s hard to accept that all of our faults, our secrets, our dirty shameful truths are fully and completely loved by anyone, especially the perfect and almighty God. “To truly know love, we must receive it in an undefended state—in the vulnerability of a “just as I am” encounter,” stated Benner. When I was a kid, I screwed up big time. I was terrified to tell my parents what I had done and feared the punishment that awaited me. To this day I don’t remember what I had done, but how my father reacted to it stands out. I finally fessed up to my parents about my mistake and was punished, but that afternoon my father gave me a gift for being honest. He loved me even in my shame and guilt and rewarded me for living in truth. I’ve never forgotten that moment and I still have his gift to this day.
But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.
-- 2 Corinthians 12:9 (NIV)
But God showed his great love for us by sending Christ to die for us
while we were still sinners.
-- Romans 5:8 (NLT)